


you’re my destiny (wherever you are)

by pocketsofposies



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: (or not pt2), (or not), Alcohol, Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Past High School Shenanigans, Reunions, Underage Drinking, heavy implications of side ships, notice in final chapter!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsofposies/pseuds/pocketsofposies
Summary: Four years.Four damn years and it feels like nothing has changed.
Relationships: Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 7
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

_**Four years ago.** _

_“Keep up, slowpoke,” Hyejoo grins back at her as they run through the empty streets._

_“Shh,” Chaewon raises her index to her lip. She scans the area anxiously. “My neighbors might see me,”_

_“Relax, babe. Nobody in suburbia is up at two in the morning. Everyone here needs beauty sleep,” she chuckles, jogging in a steady pace. “Sooyoung’s car is right around the corner,”_

_“If you only knew how obsessed these people are with ‘ _keeping the community safe’_ ,” Chaewon sighs, shoving her hands in the pockets of her hoodie._

_Headlights blind them momentarily when they make a turn. Sooyoung’s head pops out from the driver’s window._

_“You two gonna spend the night making out here or what?”_

_She can hear the music and laughter from the car._

_Night is young. Er... day._

__

* * *

Chaewon wakes up immediately with a lump in her throat. She’s surprised she was able to get any sleep at all. After hours of tossing and turning, she must have gotten too tired to stay awake.

Today’s the day.

Her eyes don’t leave the ceiling for the first few minutes. She brings her phone up to her face to check the time.

8:30 AM.

Best to get up and move now before she chickens out.

Her phone rings. Perfect timing.

“... Hello?”

“Hey, just checking if you’re awake,” Jinsoul says from the other line. “Should’ve known better, huh?”

“Mhm. Still stuck in bed though,”

Jinsoul doesn’t respond.

She can practically hear her thinking.

“What?”

“... You _are_ coming, right? You promised,”

Chaewon sighs. “Yeah, I am. It’s just...”

Jinsoul is quiet again, perhaps waiting for her to continue.

“Aren’t we too old for this? Meeting up with high school friends after all this time? Only people who don’t have a life go to reunions like that,”

“Hey, we’re all friends there, right?” she defends. “It’s not just some reunion. It’s—“

“I know that,” Chaewon cuts in. “But do you really think everyone’s coming after all these years? Especially after what happened with you and—“

“I don’t care if Jungeun and Sooyoung come. Haseul invited us all for a reason, and I’m sure everyone knows what that reason is. I’m not letting our friend’s effort go to waste,”

It’s her turn to stay silent.

“I know you and Hyejoo have unfinished business, too. It’s been years yet I can see it eating you alive every now and then. So if you decide to ditch, I won’t blame you,” she says.

And she’s right. But Chaewon refuses to give her any sort of acknowledgment.

“Just know that this might be the last time we’ll see everyone again. I have no idea who will or won’t show up, but I want to see it with my own eyes or I’ll regret not knowing for the rest of my life,”

“... Always so dramatic, Jinsoul,” she chuckles. “Go get ready for tonight. I won’t keep you,”

She somehow hears the slightest of a smile from her.

After hanging up, she decides to ready herself as well, even if there’s no guarantee that anything will ready her for what’s to come.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Four years ago.** _

_They climb in from the back of Sooyoung’s car and plop down the seats, shifting to get in a comfortable position. In front of them sit three people._

_One is Jungeun, in the middle is Hyunjin, and beside her is another girl— probably their friend from the other school._

_“You must be Chaewon,” The girl turns to look at her. She smiles warmly in the dark and extends a hand. “Hyejoo talks about you a lot when she’s drunk. And not drunk. And I see her cheesy Instagram stories. I’m Heejin,”_

_“Ah, yeah, I’ve seen you in pictures and videos, too,” Chaewon takes her hand and shakes it. “Nice to finally meet you,”_

_“Everyone be quiet,” Jungeun raises her hands. “I love this song,”_

_“Oh God,” Jinsoul laughs from the passenger seat. “I’m gonna need a head start on that gin if I wanna make it through the night,”_

_“You’re bringing cheap gin to a bar?” Hyejoo groans, leaning back and wrapping an arm around Chaewon._

_“I don’t see you offering to buy us drinks,” Hyunjin shoots back._

_Hyejoo kicks her seat._

_“Ow,” Hyunjin grunts, shifting to look her in the eye._

_“Stop arguing, kids,” Sooyoung looks at them through the mirror._

_“Eyes on the road,” Jinsoul laughs, playfully hitting her. “I’ll take care of our babies,”_

_“Yeah, you do that, I’ll be busy with my baby,” Hyejoo hums, tucking her head on the crook of Chaewon’s neck._

_“Ugh, can you keep it down?” Jungeun scoffs in semi-faux disgust._

_Chaewon giggles, one part because of the conversation, one part because of the hair tickling her skin._

_The music and everyone’s aggressive singing drown the car from any sort of conversation._

_But it doesn’t matter, when Hyejoo kisses her so tenderly in the backseat and nobody else is the wiser. When she caresses her cheek, and she repeats three words again and again in her ear and she would have nothing else at the moment._

__

* * *

The warmth of the day envelopes her right as she steps outside. It’s different compared to the past weeks— for some time it had been cold, other days rainy. It’s nice to feel the change.

Her phone vibrates in the pocket of her coat. It seems that everyone is awake, perhaps contemplating on what to do. Much like her.

**_‘hey wonnie’_**

It’s Yeojin.

**_’r u up?’  
_** _‘im going out for a bit’  
**‘ah’  
‘where to?’  
** ‘i dont know yet’  
‘anywhere’  
. . .  
**‘can i come with’  
** ‘mall?’  
**‘perfect’  
** ‘pick you up in 10’  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Four years ago.** _

_Sooyoung kicks a can to the other side of the road. “Closed off already. We were too late,”_

_“Man...” Heejin sighs._

_“There should be a grill around here,” Jinsoul suggests, wrapping her arms around Sooyoung’s waist from behind her and resting her head on her shoulder. “Unless anyone else knows another bar that would let us in,”_

_“Pretty sure we can just drive around and we’ll find something,” Jungeun says._

_“It’s no bar, but I think there _is_ a grill at the end of town. We’re close by,” Hyejoo says._

_“Oh, I think I know where you’re talking about. The one where Jiwoo threw up, right?” Heejin grins._

_Hyunjin grimaces. “Eugh.”_

_“Like you aren’t worse,” Jungeun nudges her. “There’s a reason you’re never allowed to drive,”_

_Sooyoung swerves the conversation back. “Right, we’ll find out who has the worst alcohol tolerance later, but I need a gas station first. Everyone okay with driving around a little more?”_

_“Actually,” Jinsoul says with a smile on her face. “The grill is a walking distance from here but the gas station is a bit farther. How about you guys go ahead and start drinking and Sooyoungie and I will catch up?”_

_“Yuck. You just want some time to make out,” Jungeun’s top lip curls up._

_“You’re just jealous,” Jinsoul jokes and takes Sooyoung’s hand._

_“As if,” Jungeun rolls her eyes._

_“Love you Jungie,” she laughs before walking to the car._

_“We won’t be long,” Sooyoung waves at them._

_They drive off, and the five of them start walking._

_Hyejoo and Chaewon stay behind while Heejin, Hyunjin, and Jungeun walk together._

_“So Hyunjin and Heejin...” Chaewon hums._

_Hyejoo nods. “Not really, but, you know... Sooyoung and Heejin go to the same school and Jinsoul had Sooyoung introduce them to each other. Hyunjin obviously has a major crush on her by now,”_

_Chaewon grins, seeing how Hyunjin stares at her while Heejin tells her and Jungeun a story. “Yeah, I can tell,”_

_Upon arriving at the grill, Jungeun orders a couple of bottles of beer while the rest of them get seated._

_“Oh, I heard from Hyunjin,” Heejin says as she settles on her chair. “Congrats on the scholarship with DNU. I know someone who had to take the exam three times before she passed,”_

_... What is she talking about?_

_“DNU?” Chaewon says, the word nothing short of a breath._

_Nobody seems to notice her confusion when the bottles are on the table._

_Nobody but Hyejoo, and Hyejoo is looking at anything and anyone but her._

__

* * *

She watches her untouched drink sweat from the cold liquid inside. Yeojin pokes her pancake with a fork.

“You nervous for later?” Chaewon asks to break the silence.

Yeojin sighs. “I haven’t spoken to Haseul in years,”

She nods in understanding. It’s not quite the same, but she knows how she feels.

“You?”

“What?”

“Hyejoo might be coming, you know,” Yeojin half-shrugs. “Have you two talked at all ever since—“

“No,” Chaewon shakes her head. “Not once. Not even a text or a call,”

She sighs again, deeper this time. “Do you think it’s a good idea? The only people I’ve been in contact with recently are you, Hyunjin, Jinsoul, and Jungeun,”

“You and Jungeun still talk?”

“... Yeah. Is that bad?”

Chaewon exhales. “No. Not at all,”

“Jungeun really wants to talk to Jinsoul,” Yeojin mumbles, taking a small bite of her food.

“I shouldn’t be the one hearing that,” she says firmly. After what happened between the three of them, she hadn’t really talked to Jungeun that much anymore, and she had never talked to Sooyoung again.

“I think everyone has someone they want to talk to,” Yeojin leans back on her chair.

“Then there’s Jiwoo and Jinsoul too,” Chaewon sighs.

“God, I never thought about how messed up we’ve all been,” Yeojin covers her lips with her hand.

“We should probably finish up soon. I want this done with as soon as possible,” she downs more than half of her drink in one go and brings her wallet out.

“Agreed. Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

_**Four years ago.** _

_The rest of the night was most definitely not enjoyable for her._

_She could feel it in Hyejoo’s actions, too. They avoided interacting and everyone else was drunk but Sooyoung, and even _she’s_ distracted by the stories and the laughter._

_The ride back away from the busy streets is more quiet than the mess earlier. Sooyoung and Jinsoul are having hushed conversations in front. Heejin is knocked out, leaning on Hyunjin’s shoulder. Jungeun is staring outside the window, humming to the song on the radio._

_There’s a noticeable space between Chaewon and Hyejoo._

_“Chae...” Hyejoo mumbles. “Are you mad at me?”_

_She can’t answer. She doesn’t even know what she should be mad about._

_“Sooyoung, end of the street is fine. I can walk,” she says instead of answering._

_“Oh, are you sure?” Sooyoung asks, peeking at her through the mirror._

_“Yeah. I’ll text you when I get home,” she nods._

_“I’ll walk her home,” Hyejoo follows up._

_She doesn’t say anything to her, even as they get out of the car._

_Hyejoo struggles to match her pace at first._

_“You weren’t going to tell me about DNU?” she asks, trying to keep calm and quiet. “Don’t their classes start early there?”_

_“Let me explain, alright?” Hyejoo rubs her nape a little harshly._

_“Hyejoo, you know I’d support you in whatever you want to do. You told me years ago how much you wanted to go to DNU—“_

_“Baby, I know—“ she says, walking a few steps ahead of her to face her while she walks backwards, “I know, that’s the thing—“_

_“Then what? Was I supposed to find out by the time you’d have already been on the other side of the country?”_

_“I’m not going!”_

_Hyejoo stops walking in front of her. She plants her hands on each of Chaewon’s shoulders._

_“I’m not going to DNU. I’m going to decline,”_

_“... What?”_

_“I’m staying here. I’m staying with you,”_

_A jagged breath escapes involuntarily from her lungs. “Why?”_

_She sees the look in her eyes. It’s when she’s confused— but not quite. She sees a little bit of hurt._

_“Because I love you,”_

_The guilt pangs against her chest, crawling up to her throat. She hopes it’s just the little bit of alcohol she’d consumed._

_“I love you, Chaewon. I don’t want to go if it means I won’t be with you,” Hyejoo frowns, bottom lip quivering._

_“No,” Chaewon shakes her head._

_This is wrong. This shouldn’t be happening._

_“No, Hyejoo. Don’t. You’ve been dreaming of going to that university for almost all of your life,”_

_“It doesn’t matter!” she rebuts. “You’re the most important thing in my life and I’m staying here for you!”_

_“I don’t want you to stay for me!” Chaewon shakes her head so vigorously that it almost dizzies her. “Were you even planning on telling me that you were going to give up your dream to stay in this shitty small town?”_

_“I-I don’t understand,” Hyejoo says, voice cracking and tears twinkling in her lashes. “I’m doing this for us. Don’t you want that?”_

_“I want you to decide for yourself,” Chaewon fights back the urge to cry and scream, to grab her and kiss her and tell her that she _should_ stay._

_What kind of person would she be if she claims to love her only to keep her for her own selfish wants?_

_“But... but I want to stay with you,” Hyejoo steps closer to her._

_She steps back. There’s only one outcome she can gather from this._

_“We can’t make this work,”_

_She sees the gears behind her eyes twist and turn until she realizes what she means._

_“I can’t...” Chaewon clenches her jaw tight. “We can’t work this out, Hyejoo. I’ll only hold you back if that’s the case.”_

_Hyejoo doesn’t say anything at all. She stands there, staring at her with shock and pain and so, _so_ much sadness._

_She has to walk away. Walk past her, run back to her house without looking back._

__

* * *

Haseul’s house towers over them. It’s not too big, but it’s still so obviously expensive. Inside, she can already see Jinsoul talking to someone.

Yeojin lifts her hand up to the doorbell. Her finger hovers over it. She hesitates.

“It’s okay,” Chaewon whispers encouragingly. “You’re going to work it out, one way or another,”

She nods to steel herself. Taking a shaky breath, she presses the button.

Someone unfamiliar opens the door just seconds later. Her ginger hair is tied in a neat ponytail.

“You must be Haseul’s friends. Come in,” she smiles at them with kindness in her eyes.

They thank her and head inside.

“Everyone calls me Vivi. It’s nice to finally meet you two,”

“Ah, I’m Chaewon. Park Chaewon,”

“Im Yeojin. Yeojin is fine,”

There’s a flash of realization in Vivi’s eyes. It’s quick to dissolve, turning back to fondness. “Do you two want me to accompany you to Haseul?”

Chaewon steals a glance at Yeojin, who visibly inhales.

“Yes please. I’d like that,” she nods.

“You go ahead. I’ll catch up with the others for now,” Chaewon smiles at them and gives Yeojin a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

She and Vivi disappear around the corner.

It takes a bit of wandering around the house before ending up in the garden.

On the bench sits a solitary figure in silence. She doesn’t need to see her face to know who she is.

“I didn’t think you would come back,” Chaewon says.

Hyejoo’s shoulders stiffen. She sighs the tension out. “I almost didn’t,”

After a bit of contemplation, she decides to sit a few feet beside her.

“What made you change your mind?”

Four years.

Four years since she last saw her face.

Almost nothing has changed with the way she looks.

“Do you really have to ask?”

She’s still the Hyejoo she knew when they were in high school. Still made her heart jump from her words.

Chaewon tears her eyes away from her. They land on the bush of carnations— beautiful, dark red ones and striped ones enthrall her deeply.

“I didn’t know Yeojin and Yerim broke up,” Hyejoo says, following her gaze to the flowers across them.

She nods, responding, “Yeojin and Haseul fought because of that. Yeojin was getting to distracted with being in a relationship, so Haseul intervened,”

“... and Yerim broke up with her and stayed away in hopes of fixing their friendship, I’m assuming,”

“Spot on,” she nods again.

“Jinsoul and Jungeun?”

“Jinsoul broke up with Sooyoung to focus on college. Jungeun was there for her. You can figure out the next part of that, too,”

“And Jiwoo?”

“Didn’t want any part of it. I don’t even think she’s coming,” Chaewon frowns. Each second is a realization of how broken their friendships are.

“At least Heejin and Hyunjin are going strong,” Hyejoo folds her arms over her chest. “And Haseul, too, minus the Yeojin part. Did you see Vivi’s ring?”

Chaewon raises her brows. “I didn’t, actually. I’m glad there’s still hope for some of us,”

Hyejoo smiles sadly. She fiddles with her fingers, as if thinking of what to do next. “Did you regret it?”

“... What do you mean?”

“Us,”

The answer is instant. “No. Not for a second,”

She frowns at that. “Do you regret breaking up?”

That’s a lot harder to answer. God knows how much she wants to tell her that she did. She spent every waking moment wanting her back. All the dates she had after Hyejoo were puzzle pieces that just couldn’t fit, no matter how hard she tried.

“No,” she answers, voice strained. “I... loved you. I loved you too much to deprive you of where you’re meant to be.”

_But I still love you..._

Hyejoo tilts her head up to look at the sky. She then stands up and walks a couple of steps ahead. She crouches down— maybe to tie her shoes, maybe to pick up something she dropped, she doesn’t know. She stands and faces her again with her hands behind her.

A beautiful, almost contented smile is on her face. Almost.

“I wanted so hard to hate you,” she walks back towards her. “But now I think about how far I’ve come, and all I can think about is how thankful I am for you. You pushed me to better myself,”

Chaewon fights back the stinging in her eyes.

“A professor in DNU recommended me to a job abroad and it sounds promising. My flight is in a few hours,” she says, the smiling never leaving her face. “I’d like to believe that it’s because of you. I’ll forever be grateful.”

Hyejoo extends her hand. Between her thumb and index is a striped carnation.

She gingerly takes it from her and holds it in her palms.

Hyejoo walks past her and leaves her in the garden.

Almost nothing has changed.

Though this time, it’s Chaewon’s turn to feel what she felt.


	5. NOTICE !

an alternative ending is in the works as a twitter au! thank you so much for reading and for the feedback :) happy new year!  
https://twitter.com/oecsoeun/status/1344549705041072128?s=21


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